Love is like a twisted caberet

The Great Team Players

2010-10-02T11:48:00.010+08:00

I've found my team member!

This goes directly to (you know who you are) ^^ The sweetest thing ever!

When I am afraid,
You gave me braveness.
When I am grumpy,
You were my clown.
When I've failed myself over and over,
You were never failed to be my cheerleader.
When I am deadly nasty,
You gave me calmness and peace.
When I am frustrated,
you always allow me to vent it out.

And even if I am the most difficult human to live with in this world, yet you try so hard to be the best team player in our team. I thank you for your patience and courage and the never ending love provider. I thank you for not fixing everything that is wrong and allow me to be myself and fall sometimes.

"True love can blind you but at the same time if you let it, it can also open your eyes".

Fix Me?

2010-10-02T10:42:00.006+08:00

Facing a tough time? Well isn't that life? There's so many approach in fixing a matter. Some dwell in pain, some drink, some smoke like a chimney (for all u know, i was one) haha.. all the temporary numbness we go for during our desperation.

But I realise, subconciously, there's a group of people that like to "fix" others to handle their torn up life or many the failure or mistake they've made in their life. Many time I find it annoying and disturbed when they like to boss you around and tells you what to do. More often, the favourite phrase will be "I was there before and I know. I dont want you to make my mistake". When something is broken, by nature.. everyone would want to fix it isn't it right? whether is your or others...is it an action of redemption? or a desperate call for a chance to fix their mistake?

I really don't understand, when your life is isn't that great and you are trying so hard to fix it, why are you so interested in mine? When mine are still intact and I am happy (in certain angle). It gets me all confused when accusation of me being bitter is so untrue.. Not to say untrue, i repharse, yes i am in bitter for other reason that more or less involve them. Sadly, often the fear of others will be your fear (hate it) and as often the love for others are as confused as a fucking maze.

Nobody will know yourself better than yourself. We are our own enemy. So fight your own war before you enter others.

Lighter Guy

2009-11-15T20:39:00.010+08:00

"Why you took my lighter" was what he texted me after we meet the 1st time at Redbox. I thought to myself, was that a pick up line? If so, it's lame, and I realized how I was trapped into his mastermind in get my number. Stunned and amaze how good he was, I laughed to myself in disguise. [he really didn't waste any of his time, all he did was hitting on me that nite]

This was my first time encountering a person with such amazing confident chasing over girls. I thought to myself again, "hmmm this must be a player". The 1st time I was introduce to lighter guy, my 1st impression of him was REMPIT but somehow, I did not close the door and reject his friendship which is something I am grateful for even though I find him so annoying.

A year has passed and to me, lighter guy still have not give up seeking attention from me and it was funny that his existence was merely registered in my friend list till one day, he approached me at the right time at the right place. Cupid knocking on my door and it was the 1st time it struck me after many texting and conversations and I thought to myself again " why am I having weird feeling talking to him??" I have come to realise that lighter guy is such a lover. I thought to myself, if opportunity comes knocking your way, why dont you just welcome it? and yes, I agreed to go on a date with lighter guy on Valentine's Day 2009 which i made him waited about 1 and a half hour?? I cannot remember but i know he waiting a long time. No, I did not did it on purpose, but somehow, my preparation for that night was somehow - MESSY. I was nervous [laughter] That poor guy must have thought I stood him up [grin] But I turned up looking really - CASUAL and he looked great and I had such a beautiful dinner with him and for a long time, butterflies was dancing in my stomach the whole night while as we chat. I really thank him for this night and making it such a memorable Valentines for me.

When I was young, I have always dream to have a partner which will love me the way I wanted and to take care of me. As I was growing up, things were not what I have always dream of. I have became such a cynical person in relationship, and I only believe true love are crap and it will only happen in fairytales. I have gave up seeking for Mr Right and somehow believe that i do not deserve good things in life. But I was wrong, I sat here alone thinking, how all these was put into a piece and how happy I am to be given a chance to meet lighter guy and somehow I am the lighter girl in his story. Nothing in life comes easy I believe. Even I sit here and think, when will I be seeing my lighter guy?? Waiting for him day and night, it is never easy for me and I believe it is never easy for him. Well, if he can wait for me the whole year, what is 1 month or 3 months? Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence. Lighter guy and I have many things in common but I do know that we are very much in love. It's like the heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of [laughter]

It is madness for me to wait but when love is not madness, it is not love. Here is to my lighter guy, courage is not being afraid but going on anyhow and because of his craziness and rush of courage, he had made my whole world a better place.......

Sisters Day out Finally

2007-05-02T14:38:00.000+08:00

Tap...tap...tap... surfing the net..what else this two sisters will do... Blogging and chatting all the time but is a pleasure for them to actually having each others company after a long while... Clyna, the elder sis.. finally got her new car that is why they are out celebrating... Rachel, the younger sis has always been there for Clyna every time she's in need for company and comfort. This time round... is for shopping!!!! Which every women on earth will enjoy it...(laughter)

Clyna finally left her hectic work life in a hospitality industry and have joined a development company as a PR executive which is a total new experience for her. Rachel was into hospitality PR'ing as well for almost 8 months and she left for good.She's is into complex management doing events and also designing now. Currently..she's quite happy where she is right now.

But there's one thing in life that make this sisters in common - RELATIONSHIP!! No one can actually give this 2 pathetic sisters any answer or clue on their misery and dilemma in love life. This thing has draw them even closer as years grow and both still trying to solve their own misery and share thoughts in order to feel better to give hope and encouragement to find their soulmates. Is not that pressured for Rachel as she's only at her early 20's but Clyna in reaching her late 30's.

But today was special, they have decided to not let this thing to bother them as they want to spend valuable time and cherish every moment doing the girls stuff together for once as they are sick and tired for being a perfectionist in everything. So today is a sit back and relax moment for them to be them self and get back to old sweet times when they are young and naive.
So the day has just started and both Clyna and Rachel promise themselves that they will not bother or let things get into their way for today's adventure to be young and free again.......

1st post

2007-04-21T17:02:00.000+08:00

Testing first post! Here goes! ;p

Yada yada yada.

Yeah ok, I know, lame.
But whatever. It's my blog.
;p